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Upgrade - Road Less Traveled

Upgrade - Road Less Traveled

I question the way that I’m feeling, all the self help books that I’m reading,
can’t escape this knot in my stomach like Houdini, they’re not gonna stomach what I’m feeding,
regrets on a sheet that I fold and crease in the back of my holey jeans by the hopes and dreams of the person I hoped to be, but instead it was cloaked in grief,
low key I expose the demons no sleep in this open season
grounded like poles when you going skiing, know me? show me, heart cold to freezing,
so defeated, another life challenge that I won’t compete in, built from the same cloth soak and bleach it,
trying to joke so the pain is a ghost and they won’t believe it….
but alone I’m prone to that feeling, no agreements to cards I was dealt,
life of dreams and the nicest things? please, all a myth but they market it well
wrapped in a carpet of hell’s flames, shackled my body and arms chained,
deer in a head light running into harm’s way, while the future is arcane, always

every pill I swallow follow my addiction
crossing out the bottle changing my prescription
100 proof the liquor cover up the sickness,
stuck in submission with thoughts of quitting
on the road less traveled still I’m digging through gravel
on an uphill battle try escaping my own shadow on the
road less traveled still I’m digging through gravel on an uphill battle
try escaping my own shadow, I’m gone

kept my heart caged in this bird chest, kept the spark flamed but I burned less,
searching, searching, for light seen behind curtains
my team is out working while inside I grieve that I’m worthless,
only notice what’s surfaced but they never seen the real person
like materials that we purchase in the place of feeling deserted but we
hiding, trying to find a feeling of that real thing
blinded, guided by those we trust to find a healing,
I’m dying, crying inside and I don’t think they hear me
I’m finding, I am better alone and they’re agreeing

(chorus)

the only place that I belong has seemed too far out of reach
and the only person that I want has had her heart overseas
I never thank god for my success but I can blame him for my failure
I’m anchored by my lack of faith while cursing like a sailor
and furthermore I’m tailored to this suit of broken skin
and the moon has rose again while the days are traced by strokes of pens
another chapter closed, don’t know when the story will end
but strike me down and I’m still standing never can let them be bowling a 10, I’m holding my chin high


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